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Courtesy of One Of The Four David Zinkin, the following tidbit regarding Our Very Favorite Online Service Evar:
Dude gets ‘Tude while trying to cancel AOL
Frankly, Vincent was far too generous. I would have been demanding a supervisor the very second the guy said anything other than “Yes, sir” once I had satisfied the security authorization questions. Having worked in this industry, I know how to make things happen and have no tolerance for crap like this.
Actually, something similar happened when I bought my first laptop: Best Buy was trying to sell me the standard litany of extended warranties and the like, but because I financed it through a newly-acquired Best Buy credit card, I got a couple extra ones. And when I said, no, I didn’t want the service they were hawking, the guy actually said “May I ask why not?” And (much to my credit, because this NEVER happens, I’m usually too flabbergasted at the breach in courtesy to think clearly enough to do it), I simply looked at him calmly and said “No.”
Then he did it AGAIN. Some other thing where the minimum payment is guaranteed if I lose my job and can’t make the payment or some crap. Nope, don’t want that. “May I ask why not?” This time, he got the Icy Stare Of Ask Me That One More Time And You’re Going Home Tonight Sans Testicles, and a way-more-definite “NO.”
Either he got the picture or ran out of services to shill, because he did not try a third time.
Sad thing is, I know for a fact that there are enough technophobes, elderly people, and just plain morons out there that this tactic works more often than not, so I don’t see it stopping. However (and this is the point that I hope to get across to The Four Of You), I do feel that my obligation to any kind of social courtesy during a business transaction like this comes to an abrupt end the second a breach likes this takes place, and I have no problem with and no regrets after playing the Asshole Card just as soon as they do.
According to a post on the Yahoogroup dedicated to the San Jose Sharks, the season ticket renewal packages for the 2006-07 season are starting to trickle in. Emblazoned on the front:
We Can’t Wait Until Next Fall!
This is a significant improvement over the slogan on the packages that went out for the 2003-04 campaign, hot on the heels of a 73 point last-place performance in the 2002-03 season:
Somebody’s Gonna Pay For Last Year!
My new (well, it’s been two months now, so I suppose it’s not all THAT new) work schedule has me rolling out of bed a little before six A.M. each weekday morning. Those of you who have known me for any length of time know that for me this is as natural of an act as breathing. That is, if I were breathing CHLORINE GAS.
Ahem. Anyhow.
So this morning, mostly because the season finale of Lost was on last night and it was a two-hour job, I was particularly dead to the world. And when that happens, my savior is a Venti Mocha Frappuccino from Ye Olde Starbucks, picked up via the drive-thru on the way to work. This is a function of Seattle; I was never a coffee drinker before I moved here, but when you live in a city that has coffee stands every 37 feet, you’re pretty much forced to develop a taste for it.
Here’s how the scene usually plays out:
<Fred drives up to the speaker.>
Way-Too-Cheerful Barista Girl: “Welcome to Starbucks! What can I get started for you this morning?”
Fred <sleepily>: “I’ll have a Venti Mocha Frappuccino, please.”
WTCBG: “One Venti Mocha Frappuccino! I’ll have that for you at the window!”
<Fred drives forward.>
Admittedly, it’s a spendy habit, so I try to limit this remedy for truly desperate times; no more than once or twice a week.
Nevertheless, this morning’s transaction:
<Fred drives up to the speaker.>
WTCBG: “Welcome to Starbucks! Would you like a Venti Mocha Frappuccino?”
The moment was not unlike the one experienced at the end of a really good card trick, when the magician reaches over and pulls the Three of Clubs out of your bowl of chili.
This is what it’s come to: I now have a “usual” at a coffee place.
| Western Conference Semifinal |
| San Jose Sharks |
0 |
| Edmonton Oilers |
2 |
| (Oilers win series 4-2) |
Congratulations to the Edmonton Oilers and their fans, who owned us both on the ice and in the stands…that crowd at Rexall Place was HOT tonight.
I suppose there’s an upside; this frees up my Friday.
Dammit.
| Western Conference Semifinal |
| Edmonton Oilers |
6 |
| San Jose Sharks |
3 |
| (Oilers lead series 3-2) |
The worst hockey I have seen the Sharks play this year, and before the Thornton trade, they played some BAD hockey. Defensive breakdowns, bad goaltending, stupid penalties, the whole deal. It’s time to prepare the ceremonial fork, because I’m pretty sure they’re done. Which is fine; really, they weren’t supposed to MAKE the playoffs, much less get this far, so if my gut is right and this IS the end of the road, I’m at peace with that.
Plus if they lose Wednesday, I don’t have to stay home from my game night on Friday only to have my heart broken.
Nonetheless, there is still a Game Six to be played in Edmonton, it will happen Wednesday night at 6:00P PDT, and will be available for viewing on OLN (who will be carrying CBC‘s feed and interjecting stuff from their own studios during intermissions), and Comcast will have the game for anyone with broadband Internet access on Hockey Live.
With apologies for the late report, from Friday night in Edmonton:
| Western Conference Semifinal |
| San Jose Sharks |
3 |
| Edmonton Oilers |
6 |
| (Series tied 2-2) |
Frankly, they needed a drubbing. Things were getting too easy, and they needed a reminder that you can NEVER let up in the playoffs. If we have a lead in the third period tonight, and they STILL play it like it’s one long penalty kill, I’ll be fairly pissed off.
Game Five is tonight at The Tank. 7:00P PDT. Watch on OLN. Or CBC. Or Listen on the Sharks website. Just be there.
(And a special advance notice, so you can clear your schedules…Wednesday night’s Game Six from Edmonton will be available for viewing on the Internet as well, on Comcast’s Hockey Live service, which they have opened up for the playoffs to everyone, not just Comcast’s Internet customers. Game time is 6:00P PDT. So even if you don’t have cable, if you have so much as broadband, you have no excuse. :))
Today was a Starbucks morning on the way to work, and here’s why:
| Western Conference Semifinal |
| San Jose Sharks |
2 |
| Edmonton Oilers |
3 |
| (F/3OT, Sharks lead best-of-seven series 2-1) |
Yep. Three overtimes. And these aren’t pansy-assed NBA five-minute overtimes, these are FULL 20-MINUTE PERIODS. The game-winner was scored at roughly 11:45 local time, which means the game took a little under five hours.
The average game, you’re out the door in roughly two and a half. Everybody, say it together with me: Oy.
I was minorly bummed when Shawn Horcoff scored at 2:24 of the third extra session to win it (especially because this gives Edmonton momentum I really didn’t want them to have), but mostly I was relieved that I was gonna be able to go to sleep. Still, I wouldn’t trade playoff hockey for anything in the world. It is the BEST.
Game Four? Friday night, 5:00P PDT, on OLN and CBC. I’ll be out with my gamer geeks at Microsoft, but I’ll have the Tivo rolling and my cellphone will be updating me with scores, so cheer extra loud for me, ‘kay?
| Western Conference Semifinal |
| Edmonton Oilers |
1 |
| San Jose Sharks |
2 |
| (Sharks lead best-of-seven series 2-0) |
A very dominant defensive game on behalf of Los Tiburones, and I have to think that Edmonton has no idea if they can do anything to beat this team. I’m feeling good about this.
The series moves to Rexall Place in Edmonton for Game Three, Wednesday night, 7:00P PDT, on both OLN and CBC.
| Western Conference Semifinal |
| Edmonton Oilers |
1 |
| San Jose Sharks |
2 |
| (Sharks lead best-of-seven series 1-0) |
Good stuff. Ville Nieminen was hitting anything that moved and the Oilers might be able to stop Joe Thornton or Patrick Marleau, but they can’t stop both of ’em. And if they DO…well, that leaves Jonathan Cheechoo. A good start to a playoff series I’m a little worried about.
Game Two is tomorrow night at 7:30P PDT, and will be carried on OLN, or for us Seattle locals and our Canadian friends, CBC.
According to some quick Google work, the Earth’s orbit is pretty much a circle, and the diameter of said orbit fluctuates somewhere between 294 and 304 million kilometers.
So, split the difference and call it 299 million kilometers, or 185.79 million miles. Multiply that by pi and you get 583.68 million miles. Which means, on this day, effective at I-think-it-was 3:41AM (obviously, Mom wasn’t aimed towards a clock at point of entry, and I was too busy getting smacked on the ass to check my watch anyhow), I have completed roughly 20.4288 billion miles of travel on this planet.
(And when YOU need to complete many miles of travel, why not do so on United Airlines? Page…two!)
And to celebrate this banner day (and feed my incredible hubris), George Lucas has decided to remove his head from his ass and allow the DVD release of the original, unadulterated Star Wars trilogy. Two-disc sets, actually: one disc with the remastered and bastardized version that was re-released in 2004, and one with the original in all of its grainy goodness.
And this works well for me, mainly because while the rest of the world is complaining that they’re gonna have to buy the trilogy Yet Again to get these, I didn’t buy them in the first place; I turned up my nose and said “Call me when the REAL movies are out.” And apparently it’s gonna pay off. So, nice.
Everyone’s trumpeting how Han Solo will finally shoot first again, but that’s really a misnomer, since in the original, Greedo never shot in the first place. Yep, finally an entirely new generation will get to see Han as he really was: a cold-blooded killer. Sam Jackson has nothing on my boy; I don’t care HOW many lightsabers he has that say Bad Mother Fucker on them.
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