Classic Dishes...

You’re In My Seat

I love hockey. Love it to death. It’s 1:36 on Sunday morning, and I’m up watching a rebroadcast of a Canadiens / USSR game from 1976 on CBC. Not a spot of advertising to be seen anywhere on the rink. Two Habs wearing helmets, the rest bare. Amazing.

I finally have season tickets this year. Not for my beloved San Jose Sharks, unfortunately, but for the local Seattle Thunderbirds. 16-20-year-olds trying their hearts out to make it to the bigs. Makes for most interesting hockey.

There’s something about having a season ticket that takes being a sports fan to another level. Walking to the arena, you feel just a bit more important than the other folks going to the game. Total crap, of course, but it’s fun to indulge. If you have the means and live in an area with a local sports club that offers season tickets for a reasonable amount, I recommend taking the plunge just once, so you get a better idea of what I mean.

And Go Sharks. :)

There She Is, Your Defending Champion

From the Greatest Thing I Have Ever Seen ™ file:

Saturday night I’m kickin’ it at a buddy’s place, playin’ games an’ such, and we happen to have the Miss America pageant on the television, for background noise and the traditional ridicule. So we get to the end of the show, with the five finalists, and Tony Danza (and oy, wasn’t THAT a bad choice for a host. Get Regis back up there, it was on his network anyhow, and he’s got the Bert Parks vibe that the show needs.) finishes with the classic Loaded Question segment that is standard for these things. Then, he turns to the camera, and says “Coming up next, the Miss America Quiz.”

That’s right….the Miss America Pageant now has a goddamn SPEED ROUND.

I kid you not. Coming out of the break, five finalists standing at five podiums, locking in their answers to multiple choice questions about history and current events. You haven’t lived until you’ve heard Tony Danza ask to “clear the board, please.”

It was, without question, the Greatest Thing I Have Ever Seen ™.

Sometimes, You Feel Like A Nut

When I was in third grade, we went on a field trip to the local Peter Paul / Cadbury Chocolate plant. (This was before PP was snapped up by Hershey’s.) I distinctly remember being led past the conveyor belt upon which Almond Joy bars were being manufactured. At the point after the almonds were dispensed onto the coconut patties, but before the chocolate bath that would cover them, worked four ladies, two on either side of the belt.

Their job? Almond straighteners.

Yep. They were to look over the rows of almond-studded coconut patties, and if any almonds were not oriented lengthwise, parallel with their coconut raft, they were to re-orient the almond such that it was. And you thought your job sucked.

The reason this comes to mind is because I just bought my first Almond Joy in like a year out of the vending machine here at work. (I like Almond Joy just fine, dunno why I don’t buy them more, just don’t.) And wouldn’t you know it, when I get the two chocolate-covered coconut delights out of the wrapper, the first thing I notice is that one of the almonds is oriented 90 degrees from the other three.

Quality control these days. Sheesh.

Los Golden Arches

So here’s a scary thought for ya: The other day, I took a day off from work to handle some personal bidness, and found myself in the vicinity of a McDonals around lunchtime. So, I go through the drive-thru, and I’m lookin’ at the New Tastes menu, which is basically “weird shit you thought you’d never see at a McD’s”, and I see they have beef and chicken soft tacos. (McOle!) For some reason, this appealed to me, so I got a couple chicken tacos.

The sad thing is, they were at least ten times better and more authentic than anything I’d ever gotten at Taco Bell. I realize this isn’t saying much, but c’mon, this is McD’s here.

I suppose we should keep an eye out for the foray into other ethnicities. McPho? McSushi? McCurry?

Laying The SmackDown

I was present at the WWF SmackDown tapings tonight in Tacoma with my buddy Mike. I may not have many vices, but professional wrestling is one of them. (Before you roll your eyes and start in on me, yes, I know it’s fake.) Anyhow, they taped for this Thursday’s SmackDown broadcast on UPN, as well as this Sunday’s Heat on MTV. Had a good time. Look for me if you happen to be watching UPN on Thursday at 8. I’m the big guy in the green shirt at the bottom of the upper deck. :)

Me and Mike were displeased with the crowd for much of the night, they weren’t reacting to the matches the way a “good” wrestling audience was supposed to. I’d go into details, but I’d be trying your patience.

I don’t expect to convert you overnight, so instead I’ll list a few wrestling sites I like to read, and maybe it’ll give you a glimpse into pro wrestling from an “adult” point of view:

Pro Wrestling Torch
Our So-Called Sport
CRZ’s Slash Wrestling

All Props

I’d be horribly remiss if I didn’t give a shout out to my friend Little Nemo, who not only gave me the idea to do this with my page, but does it so much better than I ever will be able to on hers. If mine just has some semblance of continuity I’ll be pretty happy. Have a look at her site over at, and then find me on her BBS, which you can connect to from the page.

Opening Day

Well, here we are. We’ve gone live with the new Blogger-enhanced version of the page. Hopefully this means the main page gets updated more than once every FIVE GODDAMN YEARS, and that maybe people might look at this thing once in a blue moon.

If you’ve never seen this Blogger thing, it’s awfully damn cool, you ought to click the button to your left there and have a look-see…literally in minutes you can have one of these on your own page. Lord knows it’s easy, if someone like me who has had the Web pass them by can get it rolling.