Classic Dishes...

There She Is, Your Defending Champion

From the Greatest Thing I Have Ever Seen ™ file:

Saturday night I’m kickin’ it at a buddy’s place, playin’ games an’ such, and we happen to have the Miss America pageant on the television, for background noise and the traditional ridicule. So we get to the end of the show, with the five finalists, and Tony Danza (and oy, wasn’t THAT a bad choice for a host. Get Regis back up there, it was on his network anyhow, and he’s got the Bert Parks vibe that the show needs.) finishes with the classic Loaded Question segment that is standard for these things. Then, he turns to the camera, and says “Coming up next, the Miss America Quiz.”

That’s right….the Miss America Pageant now has a goddamn SPEED ROUND.

I kid you not. Coming out of the break, five finalists standing at five podiums, locking in their answers to multiple choice questions about history and current events. You haven’t lived until you’ve heard Tony Danza ask to “clear the board, please.”

It was, without question, the Greatest Thing I Have Ever Seen ™.

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