Classic Dishes...

Jennifer Blow-pez

Yeah, I’m not too good about updating this. Sue me.

Anyhow, here’s a little tidbit a friend threw out to me. In my previous life as a TV news scrub, we used to do a lot of network live shots with now-Fox News Network anchor Shepard Smith, and it’s my opinion that he’s one of the best in the biz; he ALWAYS gave us proper time cues and microphone checks, and would reconfirm the live shot information endlessly, and as a result the satellite cut-in almost always went without a hitch. (Anyone who has spent more than a few minutes in a news control room during a live show knows that’s a rare moment, indeed.)

So, with that preamble noted, I present ol’ Shep, firing off the Greatest News Blooper I Have Ever Seen:

Scenic View

The same friend who recommended the below trip took a few of the pictures from my trip and did some color balancing with them. I’ll have to fire up [NAME OF IMAGE PROGRAM CENSORED TO AVOID HOLY WAR] and see if I can figure out how to do it myself. Her’s look much better.

Space Needle

Also, she took a couple of my landscape shots and stitched them together to make a neat panorama. I wanna try to do one of the whole skyline, from the Needle all the way over to Safeco Field. I think that would be pretty cool if I did it right.

Downtown Panorama

Shutterbug In Training

I bought a digital camera recently, a Canon Powershot A40. I’m really happy with it so far, although I’m still new to the picturetaking thing…this is my first camera, really. And it’s a digital. Am I a geek or what?

Anyhow, on the recommendation of a friend, and since I’ve lived in Washington for four years now and never done it, I took a road trip over to Alki Beach and saw what I could see. It was fun, but I need to go back when I can actually park somewhere and get out and take better pictures. Anyhow, if you wanna see, here’s what I got:

Banner Day

Final score: 52-14

Your San Jose Sabercats are the 2002 ArenaBowl XVI Champions!


In The Refrigerator, Postscript

Francis Dayle Hearn died tonight, at the age of 85.

We love ya, Chick. Keep it jigglin’.

Math Is Hard


I’m watching The Anna Nicole Show on E! right now. This is the most amazing damn thing I’ve ever seen. This makes The Osbornes look like The Brady Bunch. I’m compelled to keep watching it. I can’t figure out if she’s baked, drunk, stoned, or just plain friggin’ stupid from scene to scene. She’s buying a new house, and the first thing she does in each house is make a beeline for the tub, hop in, and slide down to make sure that a) her fat ass fits in it and b) the tub nozzle hits her in the twat. Just amazing. It’s not good TV, but the fact that this silly bitch ACTUALLY EXISTS IN REAL LIFE just boggles me.

In The Refrigerator

Chick Hearn, the only voice of basketball the Los Angeles Lakers have ever known, has probably called his last game, according to his neurologist. Apparently on Friday he fell in his backyard, and has experienced a couple of brain hemmorages since. Chances for survival are even pretty bleak.

This sucks. He’s 85 years old, and even at 85 he was the best in the business. About fifteen years ago we lost the greatest game show announcer in the world in Johnny Olsen, and I kinda feel like I felt when I learned of his passing – I regret never having been able to attend an event he had worked live. I’ve never been to a taping of The Price Is Right, and I’ve never been to an NBA game.

Wouldn’t have been hard, either – just go to a Laker game. Before the streak was broken last season for heart surgery, he had called 3,338 consecutive Laker games over a period of 36 years. Let’s see Cal Ripken do THAT.

If he should die, maybe we can cryogenically freeze him. It would be appropriate to put HIM in the refrigerator after all of those Laker wins he closed the door on.

“The door’s closed, the light’s out, the eggs are cooling, the butter’s getting hard and the Jell-O is jiggling.”

Indeed. May it jiggle for a long time to come.

Called On The Carpet, Redux

And in our followup to the Traficant story from the other day, here’s one straight from the No Shit ™ files.

The big boys over at CNN don’t miss a beat, do they?

Called On The Carpet

I’m watching the Today show while I’m gettin’ ready for work this morning, and Matt Lauer is talking to recently-expelled representaive James Traficant.

Now, I don’t much care about the story, four years working in TV news pretty much does the deed to insure that you don’t pay much more attention to national news than you absolutely have to, but Holy God, does this putz not have the worst looking rug you’ve ever seen? Somebody wake that thing up and let it crawl back into its cage, willya? I’d have voted him out of Congress on hair alone.

Taking A Break

So it’s Sunday afternoon, I’m watching ESPN, and they’re presenting the World Breaking Championships. Buncha martial at-teests, each one of whom could kick my ass with but a thought, showing me how intelligent they are by ramming various body parts through stacks of concrete blocks.

Except they keep missing.

Guy stacks up 10 blocks, he gets maybe 4. Next guy brings 15, clears seven. To be fair, one contestant was a man of his word: ten blocks stood when he started, and ten blocks were in pieces when he finished.

I wanna be in the crowd to heckle these people. Never mind that I would snap a limb trying ONE block, these guys are pros.

“Hey, buddy, you couldn’t break a SWEAT! You couldn’t break WIND!”