Sweep The Leg

I apologize for being lax in my playoff reporting; honestly, it hasn’t been all that fun. I have a huge emotional attachment to this hockey club, and quite frankly their play in a good bit of this series has been infuriating and depressing. And since this is my blog and not a newspaper, I’m not going to write about something that I’m not having fun writing about.

So, with that, let’s get you caught up, starting with last Sunday night’s game:

San Jose scored three times in the first four minutes of the game. Then they decided that they could go back to the hotel. In their stead for the next 56 minutes, they were replaced by a collective of sloth. (The collective noun for bears is “a sloth of bears.” I could not find the collective noun for sloth, but I’m pretty sure it’s not “a bear of sloth.”

Which brings us to Tuesday night:

The sloth apparently were sent back to the rink to start Game 4. Despite a second-period goal from Ryane Clowe, one of the few Sharks to have actually shown up for most of this series, they were floating again. Then, with five minutes to go in the game, I guess the sloth got tired and told the Sharks to go the hell back to the Saddledome and start earning their paychecks again. Then….well, let’s bring in the Sharks’ broadcast team of Randy Hahn and Drew Remenda to tell you what happened:

Nine seconds left. (Yeah, I know Randy and Drew were saying seven. They were slow stopping the clock on the goal and they put the time back on the clock.) Man, my heart can’t take crap like this anymore. (And a big Chez Fred hello to the lone Sharks fan sitting in the front row behind and to the left of the Flames’ goal!)

Finally, tonight’s game, back in the friendly confines of the Shark Tank:

FINALLY, a full 60 minute effort. This was a 4-1 game at one point, but Calgary doesn’t exactly suck, and the Hockey Gods hate me, so David Moss‘s goal with 1:17 left in regulation provided what most sports fans would call “an exciting finish,” but what I endured as “a powerful laxative.” If the Sharks can keep this game up, they will win this series. Period.

So the good guys are up 3-2, and they can finish this thing Sunday night in Calgary. 5:00P PDT start, on Comcast Sports Net in the Bay Area, CBC in the Great White North, and Versus south of the 49th Parallel.