So, because I’m a foodie, I like looking at restaurant menus online, particularly of regional places I don’t have access to because I live in the Pacific Northwest, like Waffle House or Sonic Drive-In.
Well, this morning I found myself surfing to a Midwestern chain called Cracker Barrel that has been around for some time, but I’ve never seen one, much less dined in one, because they just aren’t out here in the West. And the food is what you expect, and looks pretty good – chicken and dumplings, biscuits and gravy, chicken fried steak, the usual hearty fare.
You will see me make fun of Midwesterners a lot here, because my mom grew up in Iowa, and that qualifies me to do so, I think. And I’m not gonna let you down here. After looking at these scrumptious looking dinners, I got to the desserts.
Specifically, the Frozen Mug Ice Cream Sundae. SOUNDS like a good concept, yes? Sounded damned good to me. I read on:
“Hot Fudge, Caramel, Chocolate, Strawberry, Blackberry, or Sorghum Molasses… topped with whipped cream, roasted almonds, and a cherry.”
SORGHUM MOLASSES?
SORGHUM FRIGGIN’ MOLASSES?
I will point out that for all of their cooking skillz (and they do have skillz, so long as you don’t wander into the fog known as “ethnic cuisine”) these are a people who still haven’t figured out how to make a decent loaf of French bread, and are known to use ketchup as a viable substitute for tomato sauce, but by all that is good and holy, MOLASSES DOES NOT GO ON ICE CREAM.
Remind me not to eat at Cracker Barrel.