Classic Dishes...

Good Evening, I’m Dick Hertz

Those among The Four Of You who know me personally know that for a few years I worked at a couple of television stations. Well, when I first started there, my job title was basically “Chyron Boy”. I was the one responsible for typing in the graphics that appear at the bottom of the screen to tell you someone’s name, and the sports scores, and stuff like that, and then making sure they were displayed and ready to go at the appropriate points on the actual newscast.

Which, for me, makes this bit all the funnier: This aired last night on KTVU‘s (the Fox affiliate out of San Francisco) 10:00P newscast. The part we’re interested in comes at exactly 2:04 into the video:

Mike Litoris. Comic GOLD.

But gather ’round, kids, because here comes a Chez Fred Extra: Picture the scenarios leading up to this moment that don’t make it into the finished story:

  • The reporter stood there with her pad, and asked for his name. He gives it, and she, without missing a beat and probably not even looking up from her scribbling, asks him “Okay, is that spelled L-I-T…?”
  • The videographer is talking to the guy while the reporter is off doing something else. He asks him to state and spell his name, and Mike looks into the camera, keeps a stone sober straight face, and says “Mike Litoris. L-I-T-O-R-I-S.” Later, the reporter is writing her story, sees this guy claim to be Mike Litoris, and then never even questions it.
  • If KTVU has a Chyron Boy (which I doubt, seeing as I was automated out of a job in 1995), they saw the list of Chyrons, saw this name, and loaded it in without even suspecting something to be amiss.

Anyhow, all props to ol’ Mike, who not only pulled this stunt off, but managed to conduct the interview that followed with a completely straight face. I imagine it took some time to get home. It would be hard to walk quickly when you’re carrying around two GIANT BRASS BALLS.

1 comment to Good Evening, I’m Dick Hertz

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