Classic Dishes...

In The Refrigerator

Chick Hearn, the only voice of basketball the Los Angeles Lakers have ever known, has probably called his last game, according to his neurologist. Apparently on Friday he fell in his backyard, and has experienced a couple of brain hemmorages since. Chances for survival are even pretty bleak.

This sucks. He’s 85 years old, and even at 85 he was the best in the business. About fifteen years ago we lost the greatest game show announcer in the world in Johnny Olsen, and I kinda feel like I felt when I learned of his passing – I regret never having been able to attend an event he had worked live. I’ve never been to a taping of The Price Is Right, and I’ve never been to an NBA game.

Wouldn’t have been hard, either – just go to a Laker game. Before the streak was broken last season for heart surgery, he had called 3,338 consecutive Laker games over a period of 36 years. Let’s see Cal Ripken do THAT.

If he should die, maybe we can cryogenically freeze him. It would be appropriate to put HIM in the refrigerator after all of those Laker wins he closed the door on.

“The door’s closed, the light’s out, the eggs are cooling, the butter’s getting hard and the Jell-O is jiggling.”

Indeed. May it jiggle for a long time to come.

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