Classic Dishes...

Sometimes They Just Write Themselves

I GET LETTERS: When someone sends you email, it’s yours. You can do what you want with it at that point, including posting it for the world to see. So we’re going to look at the disclaimer at the bottom of this one first, that we might all enjoy a hearty laugh:

> Confidentiality Notice: This email message, including any attachments,

> is for the sole use of the intended recipient(s) and may contain

> confidential and/or privileged information. If you are not the

> intended recipient(s), you are hereby notified that any dissemination,

> unauthorized review, use, disclosure or distribution of this email and

> any materials contained in any attachments is prohibited. If you

> receive this message in error, or are not the intended recipient(s),

> please immediately notify the sender by email and destroy all copies

> of the original message, including

> attachments.

Yeah-friggin’-right. :) And you’ll soon see why they would like their email recipients to follow this policy, because they are about to display themselves as total and complete boobs.

A little background, which you may or may not already have: That link on the navigation bar to the left there that says “My Resume” does in fact link to, well, my resume, under the whimsical title “Look What I Can Do”. Now, to get this straight: I am not actively looking for a new job, I like the one I have, but at the same time if the right gig came along, I’d be willing to listen, as any sane person should. However, there were some early indications that this was NOT the Right Gig:

> To: “Look What I Can Do!”

> Hi Look,

Right off the bat, I knew this one was gonna be something special. One line down:

> This is xxxxx from Thinking Minds Inc.

Thinking Minds. Apparently not.

> We are an ERP consulting firm

> specializing in project staff augmentation for large enterprise

> projects.

Ah, this is starting to make sense. If you haven’t filled out your Buzzword Bingo card yet, this one translates loosely to “We are headhunters with no technological skills whatsoever, who throw any and all candidates at the positions we need to fill to see what might stick.”

It then went on to list the gig, and the requirements therein:

> Position title: – “Clarify Configurator / Developer”

> Requirements:-

> * Resource should have 3+ years of experience in Oracle.

> * 2-3 years of experience in the following (Mandatory):

> *J2EE

> *Unix

> *BEA Weblogic

> *Clarify Configuration

There’s the missing piece. Yes, I’ve used Clarify when I was at Microsoft. No, I don’t know the first damn thing about how it works on the back end, nor have I ever represented such. Clearly this jackbag simply searched the web for resumes including the word Clarify, and spammed every single hit he got, without regard to whether the candidate was actually in any way qualified for the position, or, for that matter, without concern for what an utter ninny such an action makes him look like.

And finally, the kicker:

> Location: Oklahoma City, OK. Duration: 1 Months

Yes! By God! Let me drop everything for a one-month gig in freaking OKLAHOMA CITY!

This is the kind of gig that, if I had more free time on my hands, I would respond to, just to talk to this recruiter guy and see how much I could totally screw with his head. I have a special level of Hell reserved for temp recruiters anyhow, but it’s clear this guy needs a ticket on the Express Train…

1 comment to Sometimes They Just Write Themselves

  • Clay

    Oh, come on, go for it. You must be tiring of the northwest. Think of all the great seafood you could get in Oklahoma City!

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