Classic Dishes...

At Least I Have…Dammit, I Used That One Already

Last night I was working some magic with my Tivo, mainly because the Zap2It folks (who provide the data that Tivo uses to create their own guide data) haven’t figured out that MLB Extra Innings is now NHL Center Ice, and as a result my Sharks games are attempting to record on a channel four lower than they should be. Basically, until they get this fixed, my Tivo thinks it’s in Federal Way. This marks the first time I can think of that I’ve ever actively wanted anything associated with me to THINK it’s in Federal Way, much less actually BE there.

So, because of this, I had to go through the rigmarole of telling the Tivo which channels I actually get as opposed to what they think I get, so it doesn’t decide I want to see Weapons of Ass Destruction 4 and record 234 minutes of black screen on the pr0n channel, instead of the acting talents of Alexis Amore, Jasmine Byrne, and the acclaimed star of Monster Meat, Mandingo. (What?)

And because of THAT, my TV happened to be on a channel called “The Word,” which their own press kit proudly touts as “The Urban Religious Channel.” I quickly shouted down the urge to bounce up a channel and see if I could come across The Deaf Albanian Midget Cooking Channel. (I hear they’re delicious if you marinate them in a little teriyaki sauce first.)

Anyhow, it just so happened that I fired up The Word at exactly the right time to meet this man.

Yep. Leroy Jenkins. Priceless.

Well, not exactly priceless…in fact, looking at the Products section of his site (I’d link you there if it wasn’t all Flash), we find that his services come with a very specific price….$20 for a one-liter bottle of his Miracle Water. (But only $100 for a case of 24! That’s a savings of almost 80%! I’ll take six!)

Best part: his Web guy is taking full advantage of his doppelganger for SEO purposes, as shown in the metatags:

<meta name=”keywords” content= “Miracle Water, Healing Water, Faith, Testimonies, Book of Acts, Reconstructive Miracles, Healings of Leukemia, Healings of Sickle Cell Anemia, Healings of Seizures, Healings of Heart Disease, Healings of HIV, Healings of AIDS, Healings of Cancer, Healings of Broken Necks, Restoration of Hearing, Restoration of Sight, Resurrection, Nine Gifts of the Spirit, Gift of Prophecy, Gift of Tongues, Discerning of Spirits, Word of Knowledge, Word of Wisdom, Healings, Faith Magazine, Faith Books, Faith DVDs, Praise and Worship CDs, T-Shirts, Leeroy Jenkins, world of warcraft, Reverend, God, Christianity, Rev. Leroy Jenkins, Phoenix Arizona “>

Anyhow, I dunno where I’m going with this; I just wanted to share the white-hot rush of joy I felt when I discovered that Leroy Jenkins is a real person.

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